I don't know where to start. For one, I'm a bit bummed I fell so behind with my blog. This past week I did end up almost catching up. I could try to catch up and add more when I'm home, but writing from the states about being here won't be the same.
I leave my apartment in 3 hours and 15 minutes. I have had so many mixed emotions run through me throughout the day. This afternoon when I was walking around shopping with people, Yelena was quiet, and when I asked her what was wrong, she said she didn't know what to feel and that she just felt empty. That's how I feel right now. As I'm writing this last post, tears fill my eyes because I cannot imagine leaving here in so short of a time.
Don't get me wrong. I am overjoyed with coming home and running into Kory's arms. I've been picturing it since the day I left. I cannot wait to be with my family and be with my friends again, but nothing will be the same.
Deborah, our instructor for our orientation class for study abroad, told us we would become like a family here. I really didn't know what to think of that when she said that. I looked at all 14 people surrounding me and thought, "there's no way we'll all get along." I was completely wrong.
There were two different "cliques" in our group of 15, but we all meshed at some points and had family dinners throughout the semester. And I know that no matter what, if anything were to ever happen, they would all be there for me in a heartbeat. That's what family is about.
I was doing so well with not crying today. When we hugged Petra goodbye and said our thanks, I held myself together when Bethany and Yelena got teary eyed, but it all hit me tonight.
I was hugging Bethany and we were saying how we both wanted to become friends when we first met each other in the fall, and then we did. We both started crying, but tried pulling ourselves together. I didn't realize how hard it would be for me to leave. I'm not just leaving a city behind, I'm leaving a family behind. No matter how many times I travel back to Florence, it will never be the same.
I don't regret anything about coming here. I've been saving up for this trip since high school, and I made my dream come true. Never tell anyone nothing is possible because if you put your mind to it, anything is possible.
In 3 hours and 15 minutes I will be traveling back to the U.S. After reading my post the night before I left, I can clearly see I am a different person. So many people who studied abroad before told me you'll come back a different person, and you'll see things differently. I didn't really get what they were saying until I thought about it tonight. I really do look at things differently now. Before I left, I had never been outside of North America and I was so incredibly nervous to travel, and now I want to see everything and I feel that I could go anywhere if I want.
My last day here was perfect. There was not a cloud in the sky, I spent time with all of my good friends, we walked up to Piazza Michelangelo to watch the sunset, we went out to dinner and we sang karaoke at a bar. All we did was laugh and cry.
I remember the night before I left I couldn't picture myself in Florence. It's funny because now I can't picture myself at home.
I will always have place for my Firenze family in my heart. They shared something with me that no one else did and no one else will understand. I am forever grateful for this experience, and I will never take it back.
This song was our theme song of the night, and I think it suits it perfectly. In 3 hours and 15 minutes I'll be in a taxi on my way to the airport to come home. A new person with a completely different perspective on the world and life.
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